Circling Around Again

“We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.”

—T.S. Eliot

I’ll be honest here. I wasn’t sure what this line from T.S. Eliot’s “Little Gidding” was about, so I Googled it. And I’m still not sure. Ha! Maybe the beauty of these words—or any words for that matter—has more to do with what they mean to “us,” rather than what they meant to the writer who penned them.

I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately. My sleep pattern is off and most days I feel hungover half the day. That really sucks when you don’t drink. School has been weird as well. I find myself feeling self-conscious during Zoom classes (I hate those things), and I’m constantly obsessing later—worrying about something I said or did during the session. Why am I so worried? Because I feel hungover and my mind is in a fog? Or is it because I’m on camera all throughout class and I’m wondering who watches the reruns?! I really can’t say for sure.

But in thinking about it this afternoon, and trying to talk myself down—off the ledge of worry—I thought about what I’ve learned throughout my journey, many times over.

“In another day, or maybe even a week… you won’t remember this worry. None of it will matter.”

That is truth right there.

No matter what importance we give something in the moment, it is temporary. Everything is temporary. Life is temporary.

Maybe when we start to feel too surefooted, some internal (or external) force gives us a nudge, reminding us that we are human—and that change can (and will) sneak up on us and surprise us at anytime. Struggles are inevitable. And when they happen, we go back to square one. Back to the beginning. And we know this place. So we circle around again, but this time, the hard things are a little easier. We’re a little smarter. A little tougher.

That’s my interpretation. For tonight anyway.

For my featured image… I wanted to go back to something simple. I found a rose that I had photographed a few years back and I gave it new life. It’s the same old rose, but from a new perspective. I think I could get lost in that flower. It’s intricate, delicate, fragile, and unbelievably beautiful. Just like life.

Thank you for looking or reading,
I hope you enjoyed!

Flowering Plum

Spring is in the air…

Tiny blossoms are springing forth on the flowering plum tree. You have to look hard to find them, but they’re there. I think I’m wrapping up the Garden Art series with this one. It’s time to move on!

Speaking of things in the air… do you ever feel like a fraud? I don’t mean “fraudulent” as in committing dastardly crimes, I mean that strange sensation that you’re not who you think you are.

I’ve been in that kind of a funk lately. I think I’m going to journal my way through it. Not in one night. This baby might take a while. I can’t figure out if it’s that inner critic that I should ignore (the one that always tries to sabotage me) or if it’s that still small voice that I need to heed.

Honestly, I think a lot of it has to do with the two new jobs I just started. They are jobs that I took because they allow very minimal hours, but I have to say that they’re SO not me. Maybe going so far out of my comfort zone is what’s causing this fraud alert thing.

I mean, not only am I doing something that I’ve NEVER done before, I’m doing something that I don’t really care to do. It’s strictly for cash. And no it’s nothing illegal. 😉

I feel so strange when I go to work… like I should be looking over my shoulder to make sure no one I know sees me! Ha! Is that weird?? I don’t know. Now that I’m thinking this out loud, I think I’ll have to finish these thoughts later. It’s after midnight here and my mind is finished.

Has anyone else ever felt this way before?

Anyway, I know these thoughts have very little to do with the featured image, but then again… maybe they have everything to do with it. Spring is in the air! Time for cleaning—to get rid of useless crap. New things are waiting to be born—ready to flourish. That sounds like the perfect time!

If it doesn’t nourish your soul, get rid of it.

Thanks for reading!

I’ll be back to finish my thoughts later.


Peace & Love!!

No News is Good News

The Journey Continues…

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my journal. On the one hand, it means that nothing exciting (or newsworthy) has been going on. On the other hand—and more importantly—the old idiom rings true: No news is good news.

Today marks 1,229 days of sobriety… so that’s good news!

Continue reading →