Circling Around Again

“We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.”

—T.S. Eliot


I’ll be honest here. I wasn’t sure what this line from T.S. Eliot’s “Little Gidding” was about, so I Googled it. And I’m still not sure. Ha! Maybe the beauty of these words—or any words for that matter—has more to do with what they mean to “us,” rather than what they meant to the writer who penned them.

I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately. My sleep pattern is off and most days I feel hungover half the day. That really sucks when you don’t drink. School has been weird as well. I find myself feeling self-conscious during Zoom classes (I hate those things), and I’m constantly obsessing later—worrying about something I said or did during the session. Why am I so worried? Because I feel hungover and my mind is in a fog? Or is it because I’m on camera all throughout class and I’m wondering who watches the reruns?! I really can’t say for sure.

But in thinking about it this afternoon, and trying to talk myself down—off the ledge of worry—I thought about what I’ve learned throughout my journey, many times over.

“In another day, or maybe even a week… you won’t remember this worry. None of it will matter.”

That is truth right there.

No matter what importance we give something in the moment, it is temporary. Everything is temporary. Life is temporary.

Maybe when we start to feel too surefooted, some internal (or external) force gives us a nudge, reminding us that we are human—and that change can (and will) sneak up on us and surprise us at anytime. Struggles are inevitable. And when they happen, we go back to square one. Back to the beginning. And we know this place. So we circle around again, but this time, the hard things are a little easier. We’re a little smarter. A little tougher.

That’s my interpretation. For tonight anyway.


For my featured image… I wanted to go back to something simple. I found a rose that I had photographed a few years back and I gave it new life. It’s the same old rose, but from a new perspective. I think I could get lost in that flower. It’s intricate, delicate, fragile, and unbelievably beautiful. Just like life.

Thank you for looking or reading,
I hope you enjoyed!

9 Comments

  1. Oh, that rose is luscious!!! I don’t like Zoom meetings or classes either. I did realize I have a major resting bitch face and now try to look a bit more interested and friendly! LOL. And I don’t think anyone watches the re-runs, Janet. Who would want to relive a class lecture or meeting? Haha. Hope you get some well deserved, quality rest soon! Xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha! Thanks Collette! Well at least you recognized the bitch face and are doing something about it. Believe it or not, I rarely wear makeup except maybe light foundation. I started watching tutorials and might go to Ulta soon as I want to learn how to “really” apply and wear makeup. All anyone sees of me anymore is my face so I think, at 60 now, it’s time to learn a few tricks lol! Much love to you my friend!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Collette I’m dying about your self-described bitch face – I can’t imagine you coming off that way❣️❣️ You may appear extremely focused and concentrating on the speaker😘

    Janet don’t you give another thought to how you “should” look on zoom. Although, yes , a restful sleep looks good on everyone, and I hope you get relief soon!

    Second guessing ourselves is a horrible place to be and anything online is scary because we’re so used to seeing everyone made up and filtered. It’s theater 🎭

    I believe seeing ourselves online is a lesson in self acceptance and I’m growing towards an attitude of “what other people think of me isn’t my business” 😉❣️❤️

    Needless to say it’s a work in progress 🤗🤪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Teri!! Yes, definitely what other people think of me is not my business. I have been saying that to myself!! Still, it seems to be something I default to… caring what people think. That was kinda my idea about in a day or week I’ll forget. I’ll probably even forget the people who I think might think things Lol! Work in progress my friend. 😘❤️ much love to you!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh, your post spoke to me Janet ❣️❣️

      The beauty of our blogging community. Connecting to others as we learn and grow❣️😃

      I must add that I also believe it’s in our human nature to care about what other people think about us, but it’s a learning process to balance it with self-compassion and love❣️

      I’m still learning…but getting better my friend❤️🤗

      Liked by 1 person

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