I hit my first detour after five months of sobriety. I was living in a studio, and had just started a part-time job that would keep me there. Things were really moving along! Then, on a holiday weekend… I slipped, or should I say tripped, and I broke both of my ankles. I spent seven weeks in a wheelchair.
The truth is—I was getting off track. I was sober, but my relationship with God had started to falter. My human nature (and rebellious self) drove me to my self-serving ways. My focus took a U-turn, and I headed down a slippery slope.
I decided to pursue a man.
I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn’t what God wanted for me, and the fact of the matter is that the man I was pursuing didn’t really want me to have him either! I can’t speak for all women, but I can say that, for me…when a man shows little interest I’m immediately pulled in his direction.
I knew it wasn’t healthy, and it certainly wasn’t any marker on the map of my new journey—but I couldn’t get him out of my head! Anyway, that’s about the time I tripped and broke my ankles.
In spite of the pain I was in, my girlfriend Sherry and I both got a chuckle out of it. I told her that I had been praying for God to give me strength, or any kind of help, to get me back on solid ground. I wasn’t thinking of something quite so drastic, though.
The sad thing is that it didn’t stop me! With cast on foot and boot on the other, I managed to see him again. And then, like a dying star, he vanished. I was handling my heartache, to a certain degree, but I had other things going on in my life that were also causing major stress. And then…
I REALLY slipped. I drank.
I went off the deep end for a week. It only took about three days for me to start feeling the sickness that had almost killed me before, and I knew I had a very small window of time to get it in check or I was a goner.
In the midst of the mini spiral I was on, I did the ultimate faux pas. I drunk texted the guy! I gained nothing but complete embarrassment, and I’m pretty sure that he personalized my text tone to MUTE after the whole charade. I can’t say that I blame him. Regardless, I knew from the beginning that it would end before it even started, so it all worked out for the best.
The GOOD news is that my quest for the man was over. I was back on track and I was sober… again.
Next Up: Girl Talk- Part Two
“If you make a mistake, you can change it into something good! Never, ever, EVER give up!”
My five year old grandson said that to me when we were coloring. Who ever said that children aren’t wise?!
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