A Bit of Fiction & Illustration
“This vehicle isn’t safe,” a voice yelled from behind.
“Rubbish!” Lina snapped.
“It says so right here,” the man replied, nodding to a book that he had in his hands. “Same make and model – recalled last year for a transmission problem.”
Lina paid him no attention, and reassured Melody – once again – that everything would be fine. Melody hadn’t noticed this man until now. He stood at the very back of the bus, wedged between the bench and the rear window, his eyes wary and unsettling.
Beside him, on the floor, was a pile of books that must have been a mile high. Lina thought that, perhaps, he was into literature, but then she noticed that each and every book was either a How-to Guide, a Safety Manual, or some other random title that screamed DANGER.
Lina leaned close to Melody and whispered, “Syd worries too much. He always thinks we’re going to die. I tell him, well of course we are dear… eventually. But not today. Not on the Number 5.”
Melody tried to laugh, but she knew that she and Syd were kindred spirits, of sorts. She worried about everything, which is why she kept her ordinary life so, well, ordinary. A neat, tidy, and repetitious schedule, with no room for anything unexpected.
That was one of the main reasons she hadn’t left Johnny yet. She wasn’t prepared for it. A jolt like that in her monotonous routine would send her into a tailspin, she just knew it. “Maybe I should add that to my planner,” she thought. “Leave Johnny.”
She chuckled to herself, a little too loud as a matter of fact, and suddenly all of the passengers’ eyes were on her. Melody’s face was flushed with embarrassment, but a smile crept from ear to ear, and the Number 5 began to sputter and shake.
Instantaneously, the passengers burst into laughter, and Melody laughed like she hadn’t laughed in years.
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, I’m happy to report that I’m pleased with my illustration tonight. Syd looks just as I imagined (with a little help from some art that I found to use as my guide).
I realized why I was having such a hard time with this one. There’s too much dialogue, and I don’t enjoy writing dialogue. Since the idea started as a screenplay, that’s just how it was.
In trying to convert it to a story, I lost my narrative voice and left it to the characters to try explain things to each other, and to the reader, which is not easy… because it takes too much dialogue!
Honestly, I’m not sure if that makes sense to anyone (I’m thinking out loud), but I’m glad I figured out what was causing me problems, and now I’m finding my way back. I guess Melody isn’t the only one who’s nearing a turning point. Ha-Ha!
I left out word challenges today. I had to take my mom to the doctor and it was all just too much for me. Plus we had a weird thunderstorm the other night and it’s been TOO muggy.
Anyway, I’m done earlier than usual and it’s time to relax, play a game, and – hopefully – earn a few pennies worth of crypto. WooHoo!
As always, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!
For anyone who is coming in mid-story – this is Part 4 of a short tale. If you’d like to read the beginning, I’ve added links below. It’s a first draft of an idea, not a bestseller (haha), but it’s a fun story nonetheless…
“Step into a scene and let it drip from your fingertips.”MJ Bush
Love your illustration of Syd.
He looks like a captain of the Starship Enterprise who’s lingered long past retirement.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Comments are closed.