Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

I absolutely love that quote. If I had to live by it—on the other hand—I’d be in big trouble. Ha! A part of me is joking, laughing at my own shortcomings; mainly my failure to finish many of the projects that I start, while another part of me—the softer side—is practicing self-love and acceptance.

Maybe I like the quote because it seems to know how I operate (and many of us perhaps). Moods can dictate our lives if we let them. Anyway… believe it or not, that was actually a lead into an update on my New Lifestyle, New Me project.

According to my calculations, it’s been 135 days since my journey began. If anyone remembers, by week two I had lost 5 pounds and purchased my fitness tracker… naively looking forward to counting my daily steps, and stepping my way into weight loss.

AND THEN WE WERE QUARANTINED.

Now, I’m not complaining or spouting out excuses here… but this shit is crazy! In the course of my walk with God, and my recovery over the past 4 years and 4 months, I think that—for the first time ever—I fully understand the serenity prayer, and what Paul really meant in Philippians 4:11 “… for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.”

I’ve grown accustomed to “unforeseen” circumstances, but never could I have imagined something of this magnitude. Of course, I’m not sure if the virus is the REAL culprit for the major interruption, but let’s just say—for the sake of keeping it simple—that it is.

I like to think creatively. What that means—to me—is that when the unforeseen comes my way, I figure out ways to adapt to it. Commitment may mean staying loyal to what I said I was going to do but that doesn’t mean I can’t change the end goal!

Honestly, I gained the 5 pounds back, and a few more on top of that since quarantine set in. Am I upset with myself? Not at all. I’ve had a lot of time to think. I realized that every time I sit down to look at my life, I try to think of ways to make myself better! I’m all for personal “growth,” don’t get me wrong, but what’s wrong with me the way that I am??

That being said, I’d have to say that my New Lifestyle, New Me project looks a little different today. I still want to make healthier choices, and I still want to avoid being sedentary, but the end goal, the thing that I really hope to achieve, is to love and accept myself, unconditionally… no strings attached.

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.

Brené Brown