Oh endless anticipation
I dream of what’s to come
I miss entire symphonies
while beating my own drum
The road beyond entices me
I’m focused miles ahead
Forever running to get there
trampling flowers under tread
I dreamed the world was perfect
Expectations never cease
The thing that I am lacking is
a sense of inner peace.
I miss my grandson calling me
neglect to see his tears
Selfish thoughts consume me as
I ponder my own fears
It’s tragic to be in my head
that keeps me locked away
Worrying of tomorrow
or what happened yesterday
I’d change the way I see things
If only I knew how
to conquer the big secret
…of living in the now.
I wrote this poem in 2015 when I was struggling with relapses and trying to overcome my stinking thinking—as they say in the program.It feels really good to read this and know that I think nothing like I used to. I no longer anticipate too much, expect too much, or stay trapped in my head too much.
I have peace.
Praise God for that!
a sprinkle of faith 
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