What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking a lot. That’s what happens when I have time on my hands (did I just say that in an earlier post?). What I’ve noticed lately is that—in certain areas—I’m a bit of a control freak. Nothing huge, mind you, just little nagging issues that bother me.
One example: I’ve been obsessed with trying to jazz up my blog’s home page this summer. I don’t know how anyone else feels about this, but it seems virtually impossible to control the end result when you’re dealing with “all things internet.”
I had widgets in my sidebar for awhile, then noticed one day that they didn’t appear when the site was viewed on a tablet. It was just a bunch of white space at the left. My blog content ran to the right… way past the margin… all the way into no man’s land.
I can spend hours changing things, deleting things, moving things—and on and on—until I’ve reached the point where everything is aesthetically pleasing to my eyes, then I open it somewhere else (a different browser, the smart phone, a tablet), and everything’s out of control!
It’s like leaving the house thinking your outfit is fabulous. We don’t have any full length mirrors in our house. So… there’s been a time or two when I’ve walked by a window (or something) that displays my reflection in it’s entirety, and suddenly I’m thinking “Oh my God! What am I wearing?”
The bottom line is that the homepage is rarely visited. Most of what is viewed from my blog are the posts, and those are looked at in the reader—which removes most of my well thought out formatting anyway! So then I’m thinking “am I just spinning my wheels here, trying to control things that I have no control over? Does it really even matter? Are there some more constructive things that I could be doing with my time?”
Anyway, my thoughts about all of this led me to more thinking. My worries about the blog’s appearance on different platforms is a microscopic version of how we get caught up in expectations, perfectionism, and the desire to control everything.
No matter what we do or say, or how we look, people see us from their own perspectives. They view us in a different browser. It’s beyond our control. This takes me back to the prayer we recite at every meeting:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”
On another note, the featured image is the result of some experimenting I’m doing with blends and textures. It’s hard to make out, but there’s a newspaper in the background. Hence, “Yesterday’s News.”
Speaking of news… although this may contradict everything I just said… I’ve been planning my classes again. I’m going to take Web Development in the fall so I can get more acquainted with CSS.
I can’t control everything, but it would sure be nice to know how.
Peace & Love!