It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality.

Virginia Woolf

The “I” Word.

I have a tiny closet. It’s one of those old fashioned, “1930’s modest home” kind of closets. I put shelves in it for storage, which left me with nowhere to hang my clothes.

I ended up buying one of those large rolling wardrobe racks that stands about 7 feet high and it sits against the wall between my bed and my tiny closet. I often hang my hats at the end of the pole that juts out over my bed.

Every now and then, I’ll wake up from a strange dream, or just be in a weird place in my head, and I’ll look up without being fully conscious. Then I’ll panic, because this HUGE shadow of a beast (with a hat on) is standing at my feet, staring down on me.

To make matters worse, when it’s black as black in my room, something shines onto my ceiling fan causing it to glow ever so slightly (I think it comes from my air purifier).

Oftentimes, when I have these weird moments, I imagine it’s possible that this beast standing over me came down in the spaceship that is hovering above.

I know, I know… it’s all totally unrealistic. As much as I know that, sometimes I’ll reach for my cellphone and shine the flashlight around the room, just to be sure.

I did it the other night actually. It got me to thinking about light, and the things that are said about light. Cambridge Dictionary mentions the term “bring something to light” and defines it as “to cause something to be known.”

Those simple items in my room look so scary in the dark, but the light allows me to see what they really are. They’re not scary at all, they’re imaginaries. The monsters are in my head.

I think the same can be said about thoughts and emotions. Fear. Guilt. Shame. Bringing those things to light means exposing them. Talking about them. Seeing them for what they really are.

Yes, those thoughts and emotions really exist, just like my clothes rack and ceiling fan, but in the dark they look like monsters and beasts. In the light they lose their power.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s why God created confession. We need to get things off of our chest or they’ll turn into monsters. They’ll eat us alive.

We do the same thing when we take inventory in the program (not that I’ve been lately, I must confess). If you keep guilt bottled up, bad things can happen.

Maybe that’s why I share my thoughts all of the time, because it brings everything to light. It helps me see how things really are, not how I imagine them.

Anyway, I’m not sure what these thoughts might mean to you. Maybe you can relate, maybe not. I just think it’s fascinating to think about. I guess the TLDR would be… light is good. Amen.

I had a fun time with the image tonight. I’m enjoying these cartoonish illustrations because they are great stress relievers. You don’t have to worry about whether or not they look realistic because… hey, they’re not! Kind of like the beast in my room. Ha!

I started my next chapter of Barbershop Tales and it is almost finished. I tried and tried, but 1) I can’t find my ending, and 2) there was absolutely no way to fit an “I” word into it. And Imaginaries fit so perfectly with my recent ponderings!

So, I suppose that’s all for now. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, or my image… or both. I’ll be back with my next chapter very soon!

Until then,
Peace & Love

Speaking of peace and love, I saw the movie Jesus Revolution which tells the story of Greg Laurie and the Jesus movement of the 60s and 70s. It was awesome. And they said peace and love a lot! 🙂