Tag / COVID

by Janet

RIDING THE TIDE

First of all, I want to say “Hello… it is good to be back!” Even if it’s only momentarily. For now.

It’s been a little over a month since I’ve been active here on the blog. In traditional time, one month is not long at all, but by today’s standards – with social distancing and another round of shut-downs hitting my area tomorrow night—one month can feel like eternity. Like everything else, my concept of time has been altered.

The phrase “riding the tide” came to mind when I was thinking about life being turned upside down. I’m not even sure if I’m understanding the idiom correctly, but the way that I’m visualizing it sure fits. And when I say upside down, I don’t mean that every single occurrence has been negative, gloomy, or tragic (although for some that might be the case). What I mean is that my life—like the lives of many others—has experienced a major, and quite uncomfortable “shift.” It’s like we were beamed up by some kind of sci-fi light and transported… from a time when things were like that, to a time where things are like this. Life just isn’t the same.  

I was thinking back on my drinking and partying days (way back when it was still happy and fun, that is), and even on the days when I worked in the real estate industry, when the market was rising at warp speed and property values were skyrocketing. I was whooping it up and spending money like it was raining from the sky (or growing on trees). In times like that, there was a gut feeling that I always had… way down deep. An omen of impending doom, perhaps? Something inside of me just knew that if things kept going the way they were going, or if I kept behaving the way I was behaving, a CRASH was imminent. Well, the market DID crash. And so did I. Right down the chute to the rocky bottom.

I think that we all have that internal warning system, even though some of us are really good at ignoring it or even playing chicken with it. Remember that game? Anyway… I started thinking about what’s gone on, and what is still going on, and I had to wonder. Did anyone ever have gut feelings that something like this was going to happen? Did I? 

Maybe it’s my old self-sabotaging self that always expects bad things to happen, or just feels that they inevitably will… but I have to say that there have been times in my life when things seemed to be going far too good. That’s usually when I would hear the alarm, sirens blazing and my gut letting me know that when something (life) seems too good to be true—it probably is.

Maybe those internal alarms that are built into us humans aren’t always warning us that life is going too well, and so something bad will inevitably happen. Maybe those gut instincts are telling us that something HAS to happen—something that will shake (or wake) us up—because, just like what happened in my old drinking, partying and over-spending days, sometimes we need something to make us see that we haven’t really been living… we’ve just been riding the tide. Going with the flow. Complacent.

I don’t know. Just a thought.

On another note, I’ve missed everyone. I left for my sister’s house a month ago with every intention of returning once I got home, but life had other plans and I needed to spend time offline and focus on school. Three more weeks and I’ll be on winter break, then three more classes next semester and I’ll finally have my Bachelor’s degree. Yahoo!!

I’ve been doing a lot of new things, and one of them is sewing. My bed has been swallowed up by pillows that I’ve sewn covers for, and there is barely room for me in there anymore. I do love my photographs and art, but I have to say that sewing something and then holding the finished product in your hands is one of the most awesome feelings ever. And speaking of photographs and art, I created the featured image from an old photo of my son surfing—a little symbolism there, I suspect. The contrast and darkness in the wave that is going to crash makes me think of a journey into the unknown. It can be scary in there, but there is always something to be found in it.

That’s about all for now. For those of you celebrating, have a wonderful Thanksgiving…

Peace & Love!

by Janet

CoLoReVolvE

It’s official.

The world revolves. Or is it evolves?

For the last four and one-half months, I can literally use my fingers to count the number of times I’ve left the house to do something fun, interesting, or worthwhile.

It wasn’t until the past month or so that the situation started to affect my mental state. I realize that this story is redundant to everyone, because it’s not just my story—it’s almost everyone’s story!

For those of us who are in recovery, this type of solitude, or isolation, is a slippery slope. A downward slide that can send us sailing down into the pit if we fail to remain diligent.

I feel fortunate, however, because I’m a die hard optimist and I’m not one who is prone to depression. Or giving up. On the other hand, I have caught myself thinking–lately—that NOTHING is exciting anymore. It’s hard to “feel.”

I’m like the girl in my coloring project, looking out at the world through a crack and everything that is beautiful and wonderful is OUT THERE. And I don’t know if I’ll ever get OUT THERE again.

With that negative mindset, the world looks black & white—it is colorless! But… (hopefully the image comparison works in the reader) if I change my mindset, and decide to use this time to evolve, the colors start to appear…

Things begin to excite me again! I realized that not only are these unusual and difficult circumstances an opportunity for growth, they are “the perfect” opportunity for growth.

Because… if it’s easy, it probably isn’t growth.

I learned to always take on things I’d never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist.

Ginni Rometty, Chairman, President & CEO of IBM

What an awesome quote! I know that making my way through COVID quarantine hardly compares to becoming the first woman to head IBM, but what the heck. Maybe it does!

I can consider myself a victim, the underdog, a casualty of my circumstances—living in a world that is black and white—devoid of any color and excitement. OR I can consider myself a conqueror, the victor, a survivor of the fittest—and I can color my world… any damn way that I choose!

Thank you for reading… I hope you found something enjoyable or inspiring here!

The featured image is my third “coloring project” done in Adobe Illustrator (with effects added in Smart Photo Editor). The project took several days, maybe even a week, and the relaxation that I experienced while working on it was worth every second.

Peace & Love!
—Janet