Metamorphosis

Sometimes I look back at my life, and I laugh about my dreams. When I was young, I wanted to be a cheetah. That dream led me to depression though, because cheetahs run so fast and no matter how hard I tried… it seemed as though it took me forever just to get from here to there.

As I got a little older, I realized that I needed to be something else. I decided that I’d be much better off if I could be a lion. Lions are so courageous, and they have such strong muscles! I dreamed about being a lion for quite a long time, but it seemed to me that I didn’t have a single bone in my body. How could I wander bravely through the jungle if I didn’t have any bones?

I envied lions for that. Eventually reality sunk in, and I just knew that I’d never be a lion. Maybe I was just being immature, wanting to be fast and strong like those animals that I admired. I was getting older after all, so speed and strength weren’t necessarily the things that I needed.

After careful thought, I knew in my heart that I should be a dolphin. Besides the fact that they get to spend all of their time in the water, dolphins are smart. I heard that their brains are very complex, almost like humans! Then a friend told me she heard someone say that one day our brains would turn into soup, so there was no way I could ever be a dolphin. I just about lost it after that.

Sometimes, when my mom would catch me daydreaming, she would ask me what I was thinking about. I’d tell her about all of the animals I wanted to be when I grew up, and my mom would just giggle. She’d tell me that all I really needed to do was relax, eat my vegetables, and let nature take its course. That always made me mad, and I would often wonder— what does nature have to do with any of this?!

Then, it happened.

I woke up one day, and I was BEAUTIFUL. Now… as I flutter my wings and fly about… I can’t imagine being anything other than who I am.

—the Butterfly, from “Memoir of a Caterpillar”

Fandango’s One-Word Challenge: Metamorphosis

Word of the Day Challenge: Immature

I think this kind of sounds like something from a children’s book, so maybe that’s what today’s accomplishment is. On the other hand, I think I learned a little something about myself writing this. It sort of parallels my own thoughts lately; about trying to be something I’m not.

On another note: I’ve reached 1037 days—exactly 2 years & 10 months sober today. That’s certainly something to acknowledge and be grateful for…

Life is good, and God is great!
—Janet