Most people need love and acceptance a lot more than they need advice. Bob Goff
I forgot to include something in my previous post. I was trying to watch my word count, and I left out an important part of the story; which was the reason that I chose to do the visualization of my inner critic in the first place!
My friend that asked me to share Saturday night spoke after me, and something he said really stuck with me. About love and acceptance.
There’s something that I’ve felt I lacked… you know… that something that was holding me back from being more of service before. I thought perhaps it was the thought that I didn’t know enough, or maybe I didn’t have enough sobriety time, or…. ??
The point is that I’ve never been able to pinpoint what it was that was holding me back.
There are two sayings in the program that baffled me, because they are almost conflicting. One is you can’t transmit something you haven’t got… and the second is that you have to give it away to keep it.
I have God and I have sobriety. I have peace, and joy, and serenity (most of the time). But something still didn’t seem right. What was I missing?!? Did I have IT or NOT?
Anyway… his share was about having love and acceptance for yourself. Because if you don’t have THAT, you can’t very well transmit it.
Wow. Was I ever glad that I went to that meeting. That’s what I’ve been missing!
In doing the 4th step (my fearless and searching moral inventory), and in learning about humility, so much time, focus, and energy had to be spent on discovering what was wrong with me. My faulty beliefs, my wrong thoughts and actions, and my character defects.
And I totally understand that, and am so grateful that God opened my eyes!
But, somewhere in the process… that nasty inner critic of mine took up residency and he likes to hammer away at me. Not constantly, but usually about the time that everything seems to be going really well. That’s when he starts sending me negative messages. Those imaginary roadblocks; like fear and doubt.
I know that God loves me. There is no question there. He has removed the desire to drink from me, and has shown me how to live. But sometimes my light just doesn’t SHINE.
How can I shine if I’m not feeling good about myself?!?
YES… I need to keep an eye on my thoughts, actions and motives… But NO… I can’t allow that old negative geezer to pick me apart.
So that’s what prompted this. And things are going GREAT.
I’ve got some new ideas for writing and images, something that will benefit others, and I will share more as things unfold. In the meantime, I have an interview tomorrow at a staffing agency. Just for some temp work while I get things back in order. Well, that’s the plan anyway.
Life is good and God is GREAT.
Peace and Love Everyone!!