The Confession Series

Confession: When I titled this series I was not really aware of what a Chameleon was. And I’m not talking about the lizard. I know the lizard, which in reality is all that came to mind when I was deciding on the name.

After publishing the first segment, I was surprised to find out that the Chameleon also refers to a borderline personality disorder. And in reading about the disorder, I have to be honest and say that I had a few of those Uh-Oh moments. Kind of like an Aha moment, but not quite as exhilarating. Ha!

Anyway, it took finding and looking to God for me to finally realize the errors of my ways, and to start becoming the ME that He created me to be.

Is my story over? Never.

Part One: I didn’t believe in God, so I never really feared going to hell… but then again, I didn’t need to. Hell had made its way to earth and was coming for ME.

Part Two: I was a shy and quiet girl, from a perfectly normal family, who JUST wanted to fit in and be liked.

Part Three: I want to say that the job taught me to be shrewd, but that sounds harsh. Simply put, it was the first thing in my life that gave me a sense of my own identity.

Part Four: Left to my own devices- I will overdue things to the point of self-destruction, sickness, or far worse- Death.

Part Five: Hands sweating, heart racing, vision slightly blurred and my mind in a fog (but sober!), I put my foot on the gas, and held on tight to the wheel.

Part Six: If the hole was round, this square peg would become ROUND, dammit, because I was going to fit!

Part Seven: I needed to replace my unhealthy addiction of chasing love (the wrong kind), for the sake of my sanity and my recovery, and now I’ve finally found perfect and healthy substitutes!

Part Eight: …it was like the weight of the world, that had somehow taken up residency on my shoulders, was magically dissolving… and drifting away… like little musical notes… floating up to the heavens.

Posted

March 6, 2017

confessions

Janet

Tags:

alcoholism, confessions, God, Higher Power, journaling, Recovery, self-discovery, sobriety, writing

Comments

5 responses to “The Confession Series”

@vapor_sage

March 7, 2017

Without the benefit of direct interaction, tidbits of deeper context are appreciated by me. I myself being in recovery understand those subtle descriptions as being as very similar to ways I approached the world prior to waking up to my behavior. Thank you for sharing.

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1. Janet
  
  March 7, 2017
  
  Thanks Jeff. Yes… Waking up. Isn’t it weird? I look back and although my life wasn’t ALL bad, I was asleep. Crazy.
  
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2. @vapor_sage
  
  March 7, 2017
  
  As selfish as we were in active addiction, we were severely unaware of our true selves. Asleep 💐 Recovery reverses that
  
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Rick Christensen

March 7, 2017

Love the pic and all the interpretations one could think of. Very nice!

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Gil

March 7, 2017

So good

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